Wouldn’t you know – another survival game show. But this one is different. Goal #1 is to survive. Goal #2 is to make money. Ya, ya, I get that the contestants have to eat snails and hike through rough terrain; but they volunteered for this.
How can anyone take a few weeks off (work) to subject themselves to a bunch of other conniving, stealing, lying contestants, all for the fame and fortune of the prize money?
I’d do it.
Here is an excerpt from Backpacker:
We’re 8 days stranded (out of 40) with a current purse of $65,000. We could list out everything that everyone has bought, but it’d be filibuster-long, so just know that it includes pizza and ponchos.
The team is preparing for their next fastpacking adventure; every 3 or so days, they must follow a crude iPad map to their next campsite within a certain timeframe to make $100,000 more for the prize pool/pizza budget. But alas, after Team Spend Money’s binge shopping event last episode, the group is now responsible for lugging a bunch of crap, including a stockpot and two-person tent, sans backpack. And suddenly, everyone who’s ever had to carry an obstinate child on a hike without a kid carrier is like, “I know that forearm burn.”
The survivalists must travel 2.6 kilometers (or 1.6 miles) in 2 and a half hours to earn the $100,000 stash. The route (as seen from the trusty iPad) involves a “river crossing,” “wild boar habitat,” “uphill slide,” and “coconut plantation,” as it appears to wend back up and over the ridge to the beach from whence they came in the first episode. As before, we’re dubious of the navigation prowess in this lot, but still believe 1.6 miles in 2.5 hours, on- or off-trail, is easily doable.
First obstacle: the river crossing. It’s not whitewater by any means (in fact, it looks more like old man Willy’s chocolate river), but it is moving and it’s nearly 50 feet wide. Our friends start the conga line across the knee-deep water and while we’re a little affronted that no one chooses to take his or her shoes off first, they do link arms in a random act of wilderness prowess. (To learn the BACKPACKER way, also known as the right way, watch this video.) Also, looks like Eilish is wearing skinny jeans, which makes us want to hide in a hole and page through these archives for sanity.
The group makes it through “wild boar habitat” without incident, and, boom, we’re at “uphill slide.” MTV alerts us that it’s filled with “slick, razor-sharp grass” and that the elevation gain is some 250 feet—and it actually looks pretty ridiculous. It’s like a 50-degree wall of greenery, as though the contestants had to climb out of the Secret Garden hand over hand. Almost immediately, Gina impales herself on a mystery spiky thing, but she pulls through and the crew makes it to the dolla dolla bills. New prize total: $165,000.
100’s OF BUILDING PLANS FOR YOUR HOMESTEAD!
“I found a great bargain of over 6,000 shed plans, greenhouse plans, horse barn plans, cabin plans, and hundreds of other woodworking plans that I’m going to share with you!”
Grow 4 times more food in half the time…using an aquaponic system. These special systems are set up so that fish and plants survive off each other, providing the ultimate balance of nature. Grow rich, organic food, fast and inexpensively…
LEARN THESE LOST SURVIVAL SKILLS!
“I found an old manuscript that shares many forgotten ways — I am revealing to you here — this book is vital to every Homesteader and off-grid survivalist.”
“I bought 3 of these lanterns. They are solar powered and hold a charge for hours. The lanterns inflate so you can broadcast the light across a dark room. These survival lanterns are better than relying on candles.”